Rants: Programs

Allow me to rant for a moment. (If you're a frequent reader of this here blog (and I hope you are) you know that I'll rant.) I went to the Sioux Falls Pheasants game on Saturday. This post really has nothing to do about the game but I'm admittedly a sports nerd and take some pride in the little things that go with going to a game. This will be a post about the little things. 85 percent of the people at the game last evening could have cared less about my rant but I'm going to say my piece anyway.

I'm usually one to keep my ticket stub to a professional sporting event, one to keep score during a baseball game and one to buy a program. In fact, I would consider myself a collector of game programs considering there is a tote in the basement of parents' home with programs from all kinds of sporting events dating back at least 15 years I'm sure. (Does the 2000 Mankato Mashers' game program have any value? Probably not. But I'm keeping it.) To me, the game has less value if I don't have a program or someway to know who's who. I would estimate I arrived about 20 minutes before the Pheasants took on the St. Paul Saints.

I walked in the gate and I couldn't find anyone hawking them. Didn't find anything, so I kept walking without one and found a seat. Went back down in the second inning. Still nothing. By then, I did give up. Admittedly, I didn't care who won or who lost and I didn't truly care who the players were but I wanted a program. (The only Pheasants player I've ever heard of is Reggie Abercrombie and he doesn't even play for them anymore. Also, I knew they had a guy from Hartford, S.D. and sure enough, he was cut Saturday.) I'm willing to buy a program too. If something amazing would have happened Saturday, like a no-hitter or a triple play, I wanted to have a tangible object to remember it by. If Joe Smith throws the no-hitter, how will remember? Especially with a name like Joe Smith. I would have had the ticket stub and I guess that would have had to been good enough. I know they existed because I saw other people with them.

I found the same issue earlier this winter when I went to Sioux Falls Stampede hockey game. I did find one there after I successfully hunted down the 16-year-old punk holding the booklets. To prove I'm not picking on the ownership group that owns both teams, I had the same issue when I went to the Wolves game in January or February. Again, hunted that particular person down but only after I asked three other people. (The Wolves only had them in one location in the arena. What's up with that? Granted, there are two main entrances into the building but that baffled me. Why not just put the programs with the 10 stands you have selling Ricky Rubio jerseys?) Same story a few years ago when I was lucky enough to go to a memorable St. Louis Cardinals game. Programs not available anywhere else but the front gate so I ran down the stairs and back up to get a program. (Memorable because of a rain delay, the group I was with and because they were giving out Cardinals snuggies that night.)

I like to lampoon the Twins on the field and even off it (Looking at you, Dick, Bert, Roy, LaPanta, Incomkowski (not going to the work to look up the proper spelling of your name. Sorry.), Laudner, grounds crew, etc.), but in the stadium and in the concourses, nobody does it better and that includes the sales of programs.

When I envision walking into a sporting event, I still picture some big voice, yelling "Programs, Programs! Get your programs!" Every team now is pretty much gone down to the booklet sized programs, which is okay with me. I just wish the marketing of a program wouldn't decrease with them.

Full disclosure: I probably missed them. In fact, I know I did. It's my fault. I still think I have a point here. Yes I went over 700 words on programs at sporting events but this made for a good blog topic. 

Diehards is one word for them


Also weird? The amount of "groupies" with the St. Paul Saints. In this league with teams in Laredo and El Paso, I realize the four hours between the teams is close but are there really diehards like this? These players are professionals and while they may not make much, it's not like they live with host families. There looked like guys who might be on the pitching staff hanging out in the stands (They don't do that in this league do they?). Otherwise, I would say about 50-75 of the 2,502 in attendance were actively rooting for the Saints. It felt like a lot

The weirdest story came at the end of the game. (To tell the longer story, I must first tell you the long stories.) I bought a $7 dollar ticket and then meandered my way down to the sixth row behind first base and behind the third base line in about the 12th row, then firmly behind home plate and then finally down to the third row behind the visitors' on-deck circle. Thanks, Birdcage security. You're good folks.

I'm in the on-deck spot in the ninth inning. The game was tied 6-6 in the ninth inning and the batter of the Birds hit a ground ball that was hit sharply to the shortstop where he reached to his right, only to get enough of a glove on the ball to slow it down en route to left field. The runner on second base rounded and scored, giving the Pheasants the 7-6 win.

There was a bigger fellow with long hair and a Saints cap and shirt sitting right behind me. He was keeping score and when the Pheasants were dialing up the dreaded sacrifice bunt with a runner on first and nobody out, he said aloud "Do you think they're going to bunt?" in a very sarcastic manner when it was quite clear they were going to bunt. After the batter somehow missed the bunt on the first pitch, he was ready again and the guy behind me carried out his bit he was on. As if he hadn't already confirmed that he was indeed a moron.

When the final run scored and the Saints were walking toward the dugout, toward me and the dink behind me, he says "Don't worry, we'll get 'em tomorrow." I thought to myself, "He's clearly a supporter, that's fine and we'll all be on our way to the exits. Good day, sir." But his statement of support was not enough. He moseyed on down to the part of the dugout open to the seats above, near the net and the on-deck circle and repeated his sentiment, "Don't worry, we'll get 'em tomorrow," but I would say about two feet of his body was firmly in the Saints' dugout. If I was a player who had just suffered a tough loss, the last thing I would want would be a crazed supporter peering into the dugout to say anything.

Call Me a Cuddyer Convert

A few years back, my parents got me a Minnesota Twins t-shirt with a player's name on the back. This wasn't the first time and I distinctly remember A.J. Pierzynski's being the first one I had, with Doug Mientkiewicz (all these years later and I can still spell his name) and Joe Mauer coming in later years. For some reason, I cringed at the name and number on the back. It was the No. 5 of Michael Cuddyer.

As a sports fan, you will naturally like players and find others that you will despise with a passion. It takes a special blend to create a scenario where there's a player on your favorite team that you could care less about. Somehow that happened with Cuddyer and my baseball fandom.

In my heart, I knew that Michael Cuddyer was a good guy. (Even if I didn't, Bert Blyleven would remind me every game.) And it surely seems that he has the best outfield arm in recent Twins history. (He led the American League in outfield assists with 19 in 2007. Seriously.) However, I had seen too many of those awful hacks at the plate and he would be heading back to the dugout as quickly as he arrived. It might have been that he never has had a truly permanent position in a Minnesota uniform.

The Twins always treated him like he was untouchable and that he could not be traded for anything, despite my most desperate pleadings to get some value for him. I can honestly say that anytime I talked to someone about the Twins making a trade, I would propose that Cuddyer be traded for a box of bats and a player to be named later, straight up. Maybe it was because he is not the most clutch hitter of time, hitting .262 in innings 7-9.

Regardless, it looks like I could not have been more wrong.

Cuddyer has been unbelievably steady for the Twins this season and has been the only Opening Day starter to be a constant on Ron Gardenhire's lineup card everyday. He's been willing to play anywhere, including 1B, 2B, RF, and DH this season, not to mention 3B and CF last year. With Minnesota's offense even more meager than it usually is, Cuddyer leads the Twins in every category that matters, including hits, runs, home runs, walks, slugging percentage and is second to Danny Valencia in RBI. Sending him to the All-Star Game is a big a no-brainer as it gets, especially with his flexibility and the substitution fracas that is the Mid-Summer Classic.

Sid Hartman had some great numbers in Thursday's Star Tribune, saying that "The Twins' record when Cuddyer gets a hit, over the 11 years he has been with the club, has been 425-303. In games in which he gets an RBI, their record is 245-105. The Twins' record when Cuddyer just plays in a game is 579-497, a winning percentage of .538." Not all of it, of course, is directly related to Cuddyer but he has been an integral part of this team for a long time.

Now, when I'm actually rooting to keep Cuddy around longer, he'll be a free agent after the season and I wouldn't blame him if he looked around to find another spot. Regardless, he's proved that he's a winner in every sense of the word and in every way he's been asked to perform for the Twins.

With the way the Twins' medical staff is being worked, I better make sure that Cuddyer shirt still fits. I know he'll still be in the lineup.

One Final Note

I went to the Twins-Rays game on the 4th of July. If anyone recalls (and surely I'm the only one), these two teams played in Minneapolis on America's Birthday last year. (Why was Delmon Young caught stealing in that game and why was it the third time that happened last year?) I was sort of surprised in both occasions of how many Rays fans were in attendance. There was more than just a few speckles of light blue in the crowd and I thought it was sort of cool. One expects the AL Central opponents to bring a decent number of transplants to Target Field. Same with the Yankees and Red Sox. Of course, the Brewers are in another category when they invade Minnesota. Just something that caught my eye.

Dunn As A Society

With the middle of June here, it's fair to start making some assessments on certain players in Major League Baseball. A stern look is in order when analyzing Chicago White Sox newcomer Adam Dunn's struggles and surely some of it can be attributed to his off-season plan.

Image: AP

Yes, Dunn moved to a new league (National to American), a new role (designated hitter), and a new team in the South-Siders, but his numbers have not been great. In fact, they've spelled out B-U-S-T when it comes to living up to the four-year, $56 million contract he signed this winter.

He's hitting .180 and slugging .335, adding in his requisite 84 strikeouts through 58 games. And as was pointed out during Wednesday night's Twins' broadcast, Dunn has one hit in 47 at-bats against left-handed pitching in 2011. Since we're throwing up numbers, the Big Donkey (which I didn't know was his nickname), is hitting .135 at the Not-As-Friendly Confines of U.S. Cellular Field. Go ahead and peruse his other splits and you'll find yourself having a hard time coming up with one that is in his favor.

It may not be fair to go after someone on the AL Central's third-place team when my favorite squad is currently in last place but Dunn gave me ammunition to use when he showed up for spring training in February, as reported by Doug Padilla of ESPNChicago.com.

Taking his first swings since the end of last season, the newest threat in the middle of the Chicago White Sox order hit the batting cage Saturday as a shower passed through the desert. His session was brief and he took whacks only at underhand tosses from batting-practice pitcher Kevin Hickey, but the preparation process is now underway.

"I have tried it both ways, [also] starting around Thanksgiving and I just feel like [this] works better for me," Dunn said. "Instead of getting in bad habits by myself, it's good to come a few days early and lube it up. You have 40 days down here, and it usually takes a hitter about two weeks."

Yep, Dunn didn't swing a bat over the off-season. Quotes from the spring, when the Washington Post did a story, don't tell a better tale for the slugger either:

“I can’t hit water if I fell out of a boat. I feel terrible at the plate. And it’s almost game time” for the regular season, Dunn said. “So perfect — I’m right where I need to be!”

“I’m not asking for much,” he said. “Just have a normal spring. Just hit .250 or something, hit a few bombs and feel like you’re ready for the season to start. Is that asking too much?”

Yeah, Adam, I think you're asking too much. It's going to be hard for a hitter to get going when he's going against major-league pitching and his bat has been collecting dust for the last four months. High schoolers can get away with this, professional hitters just can't hibernate over the winter and hope to be ready. The writer acknowledges that Dunn was being playful, but it's kind of scary to think about how right this prediction was, especially after Nationals' fans had gotten used to his slow starts. Dunn hit .160 in March/April.

There are a lot of moving pieces associated with the White Sox, led by their braggadocios and boisterous leader Ozzie Guillen, which are pieces that Guillen is usually able to align. But all of your pieces have to be moving in the same direction, from the beginning, a point that maybe only the Minnesota Twins have learned in a rougher manner this year. If Dunn comes into the picture hoping to just catch up, what does that tell the established guys on the team, some of whom won a World Series championship six years ago.

Looking at this, I found some parallels to Joe Mauer. Honestly though, I'll bet Mauer swung his bat a couple of times over the winter, even if he wasn't rehabbing whatever ailments he had. Dunn has been in the league long enough and I wonder if he's ever had a teammate call him on what he does in the off-season. That Post article ends with a paragraph that about sums up the thoughts on Dunn, who's hopes might have been finished before the trucks pulled into Arizona for spring training.

“I feel great about this team — how could you not?” he said as he walked away, bat in hand. “I just hope I don’t screw it up.”