Nickname Needed? No Problem.

If you are a resident of Le Center, Montgomery, or Lonsdale, Minnesota you are fully aware of the school consolidation vote that was passed on nearly two weeks ago. And while it is sad to see the high school leave Le Center, a new identity and traditions are about to arrive in the fall of 2012, meaning there isn't a better chance to create a unique nickname for the school to call their own. While I want Kolaches to be considered, that likely won't happen. But I'll put a picture of those lovely pastries in here, instead. With that in mind, I'll take a shot at coming up with a solid moniker for the school.

Now I have created a couple of rules.  One, any birds and/or cats can’t be a logical option, simply because 85% (exaggerating) of teams out there have nicknames with either birds or cats. (Although, there can be one exception to this. See Wildbirds below.) And simply no Coyotes. This is a new school that has to move on. That ship has sailed. (Yes, that's a jab at Cleveland. What's a Clipper?)

Wildbirds
This one has been tossed out by folks because it merely combines the two existing nicknames (Wildcats and Redbirds). At first, I scoffed at this idea but then I gave it some thought. Nobody knows what a wildbird is. You can make it as tough and fierce as you want. Make it whatever color you want because wildbirds don’t exist. Kids have this fascination with what the opposition’s mascot is. This happened when Le Center was trying to figure out the link between St. Agnes, a minuscule Catholic school in St. Paul, its nickname, the Aggies. We eventually just gave up and conceded that it had something to do with cows and nuns or something. I can just imagine a football team talking amongst themselves, trying to figure out what a wildbird is in the middle of the second quarter and their coach intervening, telling his team to “Stop worrying about the damn name. We’re down 21-0.”
Also consider: Pheasants, Clay Pigeons (this one could be a dark horse), Angry Birds (there’s already a logo for this one)

Catfish
Minnesota is crazy about the outdoors and fishing anyway, so you might as well go with a crazy fish too. This name would be advantageous from a image perspective because it would be definitely unique and it would work well in singular and plural forms. (Hey, don’t get mad at me for standing up for proper grammar.) I can only imagine the logo for this thing. The baseball team’s hat would be unreal and would sell so many of these. In addition, when you think of freshwater fish that you wouldn’t want to mess with, the catfish has to be near the top of the list. For that reason, the new school should toy with the idea of being the Bullheads, just to piss off Waterville.
Also consider: Walleyes, Sunfish, Crappies, Northern Pike, Dogfish, Trout

Vultures
Why would I support such a scavenger like a vulture? Because have you ever seen a vulture denied of anything? It doesn’t happen. People can deter vultures all they want but they always get what they want. I get the sense that vultures are pretty cocky amongst the avian family of fliers. I’ll make an exception to my own bird rule because it has great swooping ability, is generally fast, and the species could use an image boost anyway. I'm making this an exception to the bird rule because it is unique.
Also consider: See bird rule above

Hornets
If you want to think about having a mascot that has been used but not in south-central Minnesota, Hornets would be a decent idea. Any thing that buzzes and can sting you has to be eligible in this thing because a hornet could potentially put you in the hospital. Also, any team that uses Hornets as a name gets to use Mugsey Bogues for their basketball team, so there’s not really a downside to this one.
Also consider: Mosquitos, Wasps

Farmers
If the Twin Cities were to ever expand again and reach the school district, this name would become obsolete.
Also consider: Threshers, Combines, Planters, Milkers

Nerds
This would also be politically incorrect. I hope the mascot is a box of Nerds running around though.
Also consider: Teacher’s Pets

Butchers
The name “Butchers” would also be fitting considering both Montgomery and Le Center have venerable meat markets in the Locker Plant and O’Keefe’s, respectively. If anyone wanted to name their teams after a meat market though, Nicollet would have done it and they would be the "Nicollet Schmidts."
Also consider: Radermachers, Freds

Beavers
What’s not to like, I mean they’re beavers! The mascot suit can be some adorable, big-toothed beaver for the youngsters and then the high school logo can be some tough-looking, muscle-bound freak of a dam builder. The new school will need a motto and I’ve got a great one. “Eat through it.” Does a big test have you down? “Eat through it.” Terrible school lunch? “Eat through it.” Sore arm? You know what to do. Beavers have big, flappy tails, too, easily making this a no-lose proposition.
Also consider: I’m not sure there is an equivalent to a Beaver.

Any thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Thoughts? Hopes? Okay, you get the idea. Leave them in the comments.